Strange Noises with my Mouth

This working …*taptaptap*

Martha.

Before I change, here’s a list of instructions for when I’m human.

1. Don’t let me hurt anyone. We can’t have that; but we know what humans are like.

2. Don’t worry about the Tardis. I’ll put it on emergency power so they can’t detect it. Just let it hide away.

4. No… Wait a minute 3.  No getting involved in big historical events.

4. You. Don’t let me abandon you.

and 5. Very important 5. Don’t let me eat pears. I hate pears. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won’t know that. I’ll think I am him and he might go and do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months I don’t want to wake up and be human and taste that.

and 6. Now I have to talk for around about a minute without hesitation, deviation, or whatever the other thing is. It’s like that panel game on channel 4 like Rory just pointed out. However, I’m going to move on and say number 7 and talk about my other favorite band, which are the House Martins. I don’t know if anyone remembers the House Martins, but the best gig I ever went to was at the Scottish Exhibition and Conference Center in about December. It must have been about 1990 and The House Martins were playing. And it was quite simply the best gig I have ever been to. They split up quite soon afterwards. I don’t know what that tells you about that particular event.

I’m sitting in the Tardis now, and I’m going to wined up soon, but not before I make a few strange noises with my mouth that will go somewhere along the lines of bingle-bongle dingle-dangle yickity-do yickity-da ping pong lippy-tappy-too-tah.

And 23. If anything goes wrong, if they find us Martha. Then you know what to do.